When I became a mom in 2005, I thought I had it all figured out. I would breast feed my son. I would buy the best diapers. I would do all the things a mother is supposed to do for their child. I would go to work and drop him off at day care. I would pick him up and take him home. He would nap and I would nap. I would eat and so would he.
What I didn’t know. I didn’t know that babies can have reactions to EVERYTHING. I had to change his diaper brand a couple of times to find one safe for his skin. I had to wash his clothes in Dreft laundry detergent. I had to sanitize bottles. I had to warm wipes with my hands so they wouldn’t be so cold on his warm skin. I didn’t know to keep him covered with a diaper while changing him! Oh my gosh, I learned so quickly though.
My milk dried up within a couple of months. I didn’t know anything about a proper diet for breastfeeding. I also smoked. I knew I needed to wait at least 30 minutes after a cigarette to feed him. I knew I needed to wash my hands and change my clothes before holding him. I didn’t know smoking affected my milk supply. I want to nurse my son (and subsequent children) for the first year of his life. I felt like a failure.
Then I meet other moms who understood my struggle and told me “Fed is Best”. As long as my child was fed, he was ok. I didn’t need other people shaming me for not being able to nurse my child. And I finally felt ok with it.
This is mostly true for the next 2 boys I would have. I was able to nurse a couple months longer with my youngest though because I was no longer working at that time. I still only got about 4 months, with supplementation with him. And it’s very true that each child is very different.
While one was allergic to Huggies, the other was allergic to Pampers. One would take the cheapest bottle ok, and another would need the most expensive. One would grow faster than the other. All of our children are very different. It doesn’t matter if they are birthed by the same parents, or have a different mom or dad.
Fast forward to today, their differences are still very prevalent. And we have to continue to adjust. Paul is getting older and wanting more ‘mature’ content on his Hulu account. He enjoys watching horror and ghost type movies. (I used to like those as well and would watch some with him). Right now, we are watching the Predator series and let me tell you! I can’t believe I was allowed to watch these when they came out (I was still maybe 10 at max for the first 2). So, I’m still hesitant to allow an adult profile on Hulu for Paul, but it’s hard to reverse course for a teenager when they have been used to being able to watch horror movies and ghost stories.
Caiden enjoys anime cartoons like Yu-Gi-Oh! and Dragon Ball-Z. He also likes G rated movies and shows, but he’s also 9 and we try to shield him as much as possible. We are trying to protect his innocence as long as possible. And it’s hard for him to understand when kids his age are watching horror films. He wants to watch Friday Nights at Freddie’s because one of his friends watches it. We won’t allow it because the newest one looked terrifying with just the trailers! We enjoy a good horror movie, but we are on a mission to hold on to innocence.
So, in conclusion, as parents, we need to adjust how we parent each child. We have to treat our children fairly for their age. We have to understand our children’s differences and adapt to them. It is our job to raise contributing members of society. It is our job to make sure they are ready to take on the world when they become adults. It is our job to ensure our children leave our homes and become successful. No matter what that means.